1. |
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God is dead
God is dead
Maybe it’s in
Our best interest
God is dead
God is dead
With His dying breath
He said
“The whole of the law
From now on
Do whatever you want”
God is dead
Maybe it’s for the best
Maybe peace can reign
Instead
“My final request,
I couldn’t ask less:
Just exceed my best.
My final behest,
Your greatest test:
Pave Hell with good intent.”
Maybe God was just
A psychic crutch
Or a cocoon of childlike faith
But once we’ve blazed
The pupal stage
It’s time to put childish things away
Neitzsche’s dead
God we can resurrect
Tails or head
Which snake eats next?
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2. |
Slink (1st pass)
05:08
|
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Suddenly too sober
Walking back home
Grieving evening’s closure
Walking alone
I guess you get what you pay for
And that's the cost of a halcyon time
C’mon brighten my door
I'm on my final dime
Already reminiscing
Walking back home
Wondering what I’m missing
Walking alone
Slinking past bawdy revelers
Staggering off to the next good time
C’mon sweep me along
I’m on my final dime
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3. |
Not Nothing (1st pass)
03:53
|
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I'm not a rube
I see you staring, whispering
Not a square, I’m cubed
Anyway, I’m not listening
I know I'm not nothing
I am just bluffing
Bunting
Marshall jurists
You piss-ants love a mock trial
What's your verdict?
Sentence me to exile
I know I'm not nothing
I am just bluffing
Bunting
I wasn't born
To butter up you stale saltines
I am the Lord
I reign supreme, queen of all scenes
I know I’m not nothing
I was just bluffing
Bunting
I know I'm not nothing
Someday you'll love me
Don't be ashamed of me
I am on top of the world
Wherever I stand is the top
Don't be dismayed by me
I am at the bottom of the world
But I’m holding it aloft
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4. |
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I’ve been dreading changes
Darkening the horizon
Deranged rearrangements
Toss my quiet life into violence
Mercury in retrograde is to blame
I can’t watch the news now
Each new current event
Plays out so's to leave no doubt
It’s prophetic fulfillment
Mercury in retrograde is to blame
I see the future
Blotting the horizon
Plot twists
No time to rewrite them
Carrion birds
Pace the sky in formation
Anxious for the day
After damnation
I don’t know
What we’re in store for
The eye of the storm
Has clouded over
The sun is backing
Slowly away
Like escaping a bear
Without becoming prey
The moon is long gone
The night is a coffin
Sealed airtight
To not let the light in
With my eyesight out
My other senses scream
Like my brain is being fried
By a fever dream
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5. |
Like A Ghost (1st Pass)
05:13
|
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I don’t know why
It makes no sense
It burns through me
Like kindling
When it starts
When it ends
There is no
Predicting
It shadows me
Everywhere I go
Tries to fuck with
Everyone I know
Dread tends me
Like fertile dirt
Til the seed
Is ready to burst
I just want to disappear
Like a ghost
Vanish into thin air
Like a plume of smoke
I can’t pinpoint
When its onset was
It goes back as far
As my memory does
Maybe it caught me
Right out of the womb
It waited
In the doctor’s room
It turns my dreams
Into nightmares
My worst memories
It was there
It spikes the stakes
Of even the mundane
Gags me
Then hijacks my brain
I just want to disappear
Like a ghost
Vanish into thin air
Like a plume of smoke
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6. |
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Some moments I swear
My gusto just died
And love's but a coffin
You pick to be buried in
They'll stuff me inside
Your chokehold embrace
When they blast my remains
Off into space
Darling
You'll be the death of me
9 lives outta 10
I think about you
When I feel too giddy
And it's like someone
Slipped me a mickey
Under the table
Over the counter
The pick-me-up dropkicks me
Gravity is a downer
Darling
You'll be the death of me
9 lives outta 10
We only get
But one death to die
One lonesome death
Won't you please be mine
Some moments I swear
Are the death of all good
I take refuge in them
From memories of you
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7. |
White Lighter (1st pass)
04:16
|
|||
Now I am the same age
As too many rockstars
Who died too young
My 27th birthday
I found a white lighter
That read, "join the club"
I'm not inking any deals
Til I'm 28 for sure
Just in case the devil's real
And wants my signature
I'm not dead yet
Still got my soul intact
Now I am the same age
As my parents
When I was born
But I’m still living low-wage
Still paying rent
Still lovelorn
And I cannot help but feel
That I got nothing to show
So devil, if you’re real
Couldja let me know
I'm not dead yet
Still got my life ahead
I’m not really scared of death
So much as dying in debt
With potential unmet
But as long as there’s time left
Can’t let myself forget
My life’s not over yet
I’m not dead yet
Still got my life ahead
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8. |
Out-There (2nd take)
03:00
|
|||
Totally out-there
Spaced out to highest heck
Astral projection
Fleeing rejection
A specter in a shipwreck
It’s lovely out here
Beyond man’s humidity
Absolved of the drama
I jettison trauma
Devolve from lucidity
Lonesome for so long
Even in the midst of a throng
To be adrift
In the abyss
Feels like a righted wrong
Cast me out there
Just to reel me back to shore
I’m but the bait
Tempting some fate
You hope to swap yours for
|
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9. |
Get Lost (eerie mix)
04:02
|
|||
Lead me on
Into a labyrinth
Lit by neon
Mixed signals bickering
Disoriented
Lovesick, demented
Your kiss is absinthe
Every time I chase you
I get lost
I want a rom-com
But get some bum noir flick
The dazzling con
Enlists the bumbling dick
Like all good gumshoes
I follow your clues
But just kiss brick
Every time I chase you
I get lost
I know you know
It’s your name that I sigh
But lo & behold
The apple of my eye
Is in effect
A cataract
I’m stumbling blind
Every time I chase you
I get lost
How long is it sane
To shadow your desire
Til you should quit
Admit it’s just foxfire
|
||||
10. |
||||
Cast you from my conscience
Like a guilt that bogs me down
Cut ties with the anchors
On the corners of my frown
Spewing new promises
To make up for ones you broke
You're just backpedaling
So you don't get snared in the spokes
You need pills
To feel whole
A black hole
Wishing well
Shot glass half
Full of hell
I tried to kick your habit
Tried to make you see the light
But you preferred the blackout
Of analgesic anthracite
We made love in a graveyard
On a weathered-blank headstone
Like we were christening
Your dream destination home
You need pills
To feel whole
A black hole
Wishing well
Shot glass half
Full of hell
Feel like a wishing well
Caught in a draught
Blind faith leading
All-seeing doubt
Unequally yoked
And the fields are unplowed
I'm unwhole
A dry well
Stained glass full
Of fresh-mulled hell
I am null
A broken spell
Free of my pull
I wish you well
Can’t wish you whole
I’ll wish you well
|
||||
11. |
||||
I used to daydream
Now I aimlessly sleepwalk
Had autonomy
Now I'm my own pet rock
Quit my ministry
Now I’m cut off from God
Strived for shut-in heaven
Got monastic hell
Deadly Introspection
Naval cave dive
Lost inside myself
I thought discipline
Was austere sacrifice
If I could evict
Each distraction, every vice
My lavish visions
Would materialize
Renovated ruins
A temple to myself
Though heaven was the blueprint
I sat back
To see a shut-in hell
|
||||
12. |
B-Side Myself (1st pass)
04:56
|
|||
I’ve been storming out
Of every meeting you call
I’m not paid enough
I’ll turn the tables
On every intervention
The love I need ain’t tough
I keep having visions
Of our friends who are now gone
They disavow their decisions
Urge me to press on
Find what they missed
Sorry I’ve been scarce
I don’t want to bug you
With what I’d change if I could
I ghost from everywhere
Like I’m practicing for
When I ghost for good
I keep having visions
Of myself as dark matter
I disavow my decisions
Warn of the hereafter
Haunted by an afterlife
That cannot help distract
From Earthly regrets
Heaven won’t let you take back
That’s all Hell is
I don’t want to breathe
If the impact I leave
Is a mess for trees to clean
While we cut them down
If there’s a way to stem
The damage in my step
The debris left
Whenever I move around
I don’t wanna breathe
If the footprint I leave
Is a mess for trees to clean
So we can have fresh air
I’ll become a Jain
So every move I make
Is that much more humane
Than if I didn’t care
In hopes that I might leave
Improvement in my wake
So heaven won’t be grieved
When I get there
I keep having visions
Of our friends who died too young
I hope they see my decisions
And feel free to move on
No prophetic duty
No obligation to warn
All their hard-way wisdom
Reborn in a brand new form
|
||||
13. |
Sing Yr Sighs (1st pass)
06:31
|
|||
I won’t mince words
Some days just ain’t worth
Scuttling for scrap
They’re too far gone
When life hands you a lemon
Rife with gremlins
A surefire deathtrap
Sigh along
Make a joyful noise
Sing your sighs
Oh rainbow
Rode your blues out thru
Bruised indigo
To the blackest hole
Swear there's one way back
Once yer blues bleed
Into the black
Now cue the track
Make a joyful noise
Sing yer sighs
Trapped for so long
In a fugue state
Lost in the dross
Of years the locusts ate
I clawed my way out
To breathe fresh sun
Fueled by the cloud of songs
That the saints sung
Good vibrations
I’m paying it forward
With all the strength
In my lungs
Some days just suck
They play like an arcade
For your bad luck
To run amok
When fate is mean
Runs ya through
A Rube Goldberg machine
Of fumbled dreams
Make a joyful noise
Cuz life’s too short
But feels too long
And it’s hard to keep your poise
In a crooked world
A spun out top
So lift your weary voice
Sing your sighs
|
||||
14. |
||||
I keep hiding from everyone
Then wondering why I’m lonely
I keep mulling over trauma
Then wondering why I’m sad
I keep breaking promises
Then wondering why bridges are burning
I keep ghosting opportunity
Then wondering why it won’t knock
Now it’s late
But I can’t sleep
I need to see a friend
Or I’ll lay awake
In agony
Swatting thoughts
Swarming in my head
I keep shirking my self care
Then wondering why I’m rotting
I keep blowing off duty
Then wondering why I’m broke
I keep drinking myself to sleep
Then wondering why I can’t wake
I stay in bed all day
Then wonder why I can’t sleep
I get no rest
I wake up less slept
Than the day before
I worry that
If I don’t fix my act
One day I just won’t wake anymore
I don’t know why I sabotage myself
I swear I want to see myself thrive
It’s like my will is just a hostage held
By gremlins on a kamikazee drive
Can I survive?
I keep doing the same old shit
That keeps me in a nosedive
I can’t kick the habit
To save my life
|
||||
15. |
||||
Double trouble
We’re a triple threat
Spellbound since the day we met
But I’m in orchid
Planted in your shadow
It’s stunting my growth
You win again
Thriving is the coldest revenge
You were my best friend
But the best things
Get such sad ends
I am under
The spell you constantly cast
To ensure everyone else
Places last
If I kiss up
And never rock the boat
I’ll get bronze
Riding your coat
You win again
Thriving is the coldestrevenge
You were my best friend
But the best things
Get such sad ends
Rather than risk being replaced
Overwrite myself with upgrades
Always I was planned obsolescence
Now I have the evidence
You win again
Thriving is the coldest revenge
You were my best friend
But the best things
Get such sad ends
Rode off into the sunset
In a tailspin
Sputtering regret
You were my best friend
But the best things
Get such sad ends
|
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